Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I have post one night stand depression
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
