Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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