I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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