Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
