His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
