Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
