I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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