Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
