don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
