what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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