last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
