if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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