Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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