16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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