I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
