Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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