My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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