He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we're making bets on your personal life
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
