I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
