Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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