I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
