yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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