So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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