Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Please don't give away my fajitas
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
