Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
