Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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