I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
