no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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