You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
