i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
