brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
