bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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