Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
