But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
