She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
