So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
