I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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