Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize