ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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