you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
