so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
