Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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