I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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