I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
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