I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
