I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
