he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
