I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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