awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
