Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize