well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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