he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
