The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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