ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
