Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
