real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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