Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
