Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
