she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
