ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
There's even glitter on my cock...
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