Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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