That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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