The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
