i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
