I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
