He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
apparently the secret to your success is patron
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
