I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
